Editorial: As ‘Minorities’ Become the New Majority, a List of Demands

Census estimates show that among children under the age of 1, non-white babies make up a majority at 50.4 percent.

After a Census release last week revealed that there are now more non-white babies in America than white babies, Kelly Virella at Dominion of NY offered a satirical take on the news, headlined: “Now That Our Kids Are the Majority, These Are Our Demands.”

First on the list of Virella’s demands: dominance.

For one thing, we want to dominate all branches of government at all levels. I’m talking like 90 percent, just like whites do now. That’s right — we want to fill every office with our mayors, governors, state legislators, and congresspeople, most judges, justices, and presidential cabinet members, and yes — all presidents. Juries too. No whites allowed. They might be biased. We also want dominance in private industry and education.

Speaking of schools, yeah, black studies, chicano studies, ethnic studies, uh, that’s gonna be required now. Here’s a reading list for black studies to help you get started. It was really awesome learning so much about Charlemagne and Avignon and French history in general. But in the interest of time, we’re gonna focus a bit more on our history. Corporate welfare? Great idea. I think we’ll have our businesses get involved in that. Don’t worry. We’ll set aside some food stamps for whites — that is if quotas are Constitutional. (We’ll have to check on that.)

Virella wants not just a Spanish-language-only SAT, but also commands that “a steep death tax will help us redistribute some of the money you inherited from that awesome system your ancestors set up and/or benefited from — the one where mine worked for free.”

Among the other reforms on Virella’s agenda:

Also, the  criminal justice system is just not working for us. We noticed that whites do a lot of drugs, but rarely do time for it. Not sure what direction we’ll go in with that policy. Possibly something to punish them retroactively. We’ll keep you posted.

Oh, and, um, we’re gonna open up the borders — only to Asian, South American and African countries — of course. Wanna accelerate our achievement of total domination.

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